Clowns
by Applauze
Summary: Noah is at the Playa being his usual sarcastic self. Yet, with the help of Dawn, can all of the teens get even with him for his srcastic asctions? Contains Nawn and a visit from Insane Number 9 obsessed Trent.


**Warning: All of the characters are majorly OOC and this oneshot is written for humor. Viewer caution is advised. **

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It was like any average day at the Playa Des Losers and Noah was his usual sarcastic self. He could care less about everyone's problems and was just the most laziest sloth one person could ever meet. However, today was when everything would be turning tables and it started like this...

It was a normal morning. The sun was out, the birds singing their early morning songs and Noah was his usual asshole self. When he walked outside, Katie and Sadie said to him,

"Good morning Noah!"

"Out of my way you two faced banana eating baboons." Noah replied as he shoved them into the pool, which was not hard for despite Noah looking like a skinny toothpick, he was actually quite strong.

Noah walked to the pool, sat down in a chair and started to read. He had read for a while, when he heard a familiar voice say to him.

"Good Morning Noah. Your aura is cheeky this morning. What is on your mind?"

Noah looked up from his book and saw Dawn meditating next to him. She was smiling and was her usual self... Which Noah hated.

"What are you doing here you ugly two eyed witch?"

"I am here mediating. Just because you are grumpy, you don't have to be a total asshole to everyone, including me." Dawn said to Noah.

"I could care less about this god forsaken place. It's home to drug addicts and whores."

"Now wait a second! You just can't go around and-"

"Save it, tramp!"

That was the last straw for Dawn. She rose up for her chair and yelled at Noah,

"I could have called you a frog-eyed fish eating fool! Yet, I haven't it!"

"I could have called you a monkey face fat bottom gorilla! However I didn't. Now, I get to call you a fat bottom gorilla faced ape!"

"Why you little-"

Dawn attempted to hit Noah but he ducked and Dawn instead punched Duncan in the face. Courtney went all Godzilla on Dawn and it was about that time that Izzy landed and kissed Noah.

"Listen Cobraface, what are you doing here anyways?" Noah asked the one person that he hated the most.

"Noah silly, I am here to bounce on breasts and to go make bombs!"

"Really Izzy? You have to be more serious than that!"

"Anyways, so how do I look like Noah?"

"Like you have came in first at the King Kong look alike contest."

Eva than came along and said to Noah,

"So, someone has been their usual self this morning."

"It's unfortunate that I got two ears and I wish that they were long enough to cover my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at your ugly face."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY PUNK?!" Eva yelled at Noah.

"Simple, your face is wanted on three continents for indecent exposure."

Noah walked off and Eva was furious. She exploded like a hungry volcano and went on a rampage, which caused Izzy to go overboard nuts and go on a looting spree, watching most of the teens making out and just causing disorder on the playa. To make things more cheeky, Trent went crazy town insane and talked about the number nine and ended up raping nine people, including Chef and DJ's Momma... all thanks to Noah.

Things were so bad from Noah did, that Courtney organized a secret meeting amongst the teens in the lobby of the Playa, everyone, expect for Noah, was there and it looked like a mob was forming fast.

"Let's kill his ass and put it on a stick!"

"Let's rip his penis and shove it down his throat."

"Let's gag his eyes out and make a nut set out of them!"

"People, please!" Courtney cried out. "Although Noah has done ALOT of stuff that has pissed all of us off, we need to figure out a plan that we all can agree to."

"We all want to kill him, so why not kill him!" Scarlett yelled out.

"Violence is not the answer! What is Noah afraid of?!"

"Clowns."

All of the teens look and they see Dawn smirking.

"Clowns? What are you talking about Dawn?"

"Well, when you torture a guy with wax on his coconuts, you learn a thing or two about him. Anyways, it turns out that Noah has a fear of clowns."

"Gosh, how will that help us, idiot!" Harold cried out.

"Will you shut up!" Duncan yelled as he dragged him away and Alejandro joined to torture and rape him. Anyways, Ella asked,

"How will Noah being afraid of clowns will help us get revenge?"

"Now this is what we will do..."

The next day, Noah walked down to the pool. He was still his usual asshole self. So anyways, he ran into Ella and she asked,

"Good morning my fair prince! How are you this morning?"

"Listen, I am not your prince. So why don't you go down to the Oceanside and stand there in the low-tide until the high-tide commits suicide."

Noah than left and walked back in. He went into a dinning room and noticed that he was the only one there for breakfast. It was a little bit strange for him but he shrugged as he got his food and sat down. However, while he was eating, he heard a evil laugh coming from no where. He look up and saw...

**A Clown that looked like Ronald McDonald.**

Noah eyes just exploded. He expected to be free of clowns and was terrified of them. He started to slowly back up but the clown just laughed evilly and walked toward Noah.

"AHHHHHH! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Noah yelled as he jumped out of a window, and fell about two stories until he crashed into the pool. When he got out, he saw Cody there and Cody asked,

"Are you alright Noah?"

"I am fine can't you see? Run over your face."

Noah than was walking toward the Playa when he turned around and saw...

**Another Clown that looked like Ronald McDonald**.

This freaked Noah out! Two clowns that looked the same? How was that even possible? Well, this clown just walked over to Noah. Without even saying a word, Noah ran fast as the speed of light to his room. He normally didn't run but if the situation was desperate than he would run for his little skinny life.

When Noah returned to his room, the first thing he did was to look in the mirror. Something wasn't right and he needed to check his face. When he looked in the mirror, he was horrified at his face! His face had lost all color and he was almost as pale as a ghost. Noah just rolled his eyes and that was the las thing he remembered before the room turned to darkness.

It was several hours later that Noah finally woke up. It was about a little bit into the afternoon and so he decided to go back out. He woke up and went into the bathroom to wash his face. However, as he was washing up, he heard a laugh and looked in the mirror. Behind him was...

**A third clown that looked like Ronald McDonald.**

Noah felt like that he had been stabbed. How did the clown manage to get into his room? Well, Noah than decided to be no more himself. He lunged for the clown and just gave it the hardest punch to it's nose. The clown feel down in agony and blood was everywhere but all Noah did was yell,

"MESS WITH ME AGAIN AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

Noah than ran for his life. If anyone had a dart gun, it would be Chef. He went to Chef's room and found that his door was locked. He just kicked down the door and went straight for the dart gun. He loaded it with as much darts as he could get his hands on. He went outside only to find...

**A fourth Clown that looked like Ronald McDonald**.

Noah just yelled,

"I'LL GIVE YOU A PIECE OF ME!"

Noah took that dart gun and just started to fire darts at it. The clown didn't move as it was hit with dart after dart. Noah was firing away when he suddenly felt a sharp pain and collapsed in the hallway. The last thing that he saw was a similar pair of shoes walking to him.

All that was around him was darkness when Noah woke up. He saw no light but noticed a weird noise. He tried to leave but he than realized that he was chained to a wall And he was chained tightly. He was about to shout something out when he heard a recognizable voice that spoke out to him out of no where.

"Hello Noah. Are you comfortable?"

All at once, candles were lit and Noah saw Dawn and the rest of the teens surrounding here. They all faces that made him terrified of his immortal soul.

"What is the meaning of this? Will one of you assholes be kind enough and tell me what is going on here?"

"Simple. Revenge." Dawn replied.

"What does that mean you slut?"

Dawn just walked up and slapped Noah as hard as she could. She than whispered something in Courtney's ear and Courtney told Noah:

"Noah, you are here because your sarcasm has went too far. Don't even play the innocent game for we know you. So, after the events of yesterday, we decided to get even with you."

"And will that be?"

"We have already done it. We know about your fear of clowns and so we were the clowns that you saw all throughout the day."

"So let me get this straight. You wannabe's were the clowns that terrified me?"

"Yep." everyone replied.

"Well, wait until this story get's out. This will be funny to read!" Noah replied as he started to laugh. "You all as clowns! That is really cheeky!"

"This will never get out."

"And what do you mean by that you gorilla face ugly mopottomuss?"

"Watch it sucker!" LeShawna cried out.

"Ah this coming from the girl who is six foot, seven inches, weights 299 pounds, meanm cruel and ugly!"

"What did you say to me? Oh no you didn't! If you want big, I'll show ya big honey!"

LeShawna than leaped forward and started to attack Noah. All of the contestants than remembered their anger toward Noah and started to join in. There was a huge struggle and somebody accidentally blew out the candles. They were still attacking Noah when a gunshot came out of no where and someone fell down in agony.

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**Ah! So nice to publish a new one shot after a month of writing nothing. I know that I got commissions to fill, which is about seven more unwritten one shots but I am currently doing four one shots that I have been thinking of for the last two weeks.**


End file.
